This is a question I have struggled with for a while now. And I know- from constant discussions with my friends over wine, panic attacks, and cheese- I am not the only student struggling with this question.
During my time at Tulane, my intellectual, as well as life agenda, has had many twists and turns. In December 2020, I will graduate from Tulane University with a Master’s degree in History and a BA in History and Classics. For a very long time, I was trying to avoid going to grad school for archeology or Classics because I knew how hard it was to get a job at the end of the very long, grueling road. I still ask myself: "do I really want to work my butt off for this P.h.D., post pone 'growing up' and having a family just to not get a job at the end of all of it?"
Despite my epic inner battle between history and anthropology, at the end of the journey, I decided I can no longer ignore my love of ancient pottery. It's weird, and for most very un-relatable, but I'm not sure if I could be happy without pursuing an opportunity to at least try to study ancient societies. Studying classics has provided me with an escape to an unknown world. As a child with learning disabilities, I used to pretend I would marry Percy Jackson and we would study ancient Greek texts together. My heart still swells when I saw the little tiny pottery sherds within their display cases at the MET. I describe visiting the Parthenon to my friends as the most religious and spiritual experience of my life. Am I a total nerd? Yes. But can I turn my obsession for the ancient and unknown into a career?
I know I am not the only one struggling with this question.
I want this forum to represent a safe space for aspiring archeologists and all aspiring high academics to discuss their fears, hopes, and dreams without judgement. Everyone has a 'what the heck am I actually doing with my life?' moment. Personally, one of the only reasons I continue on the road to achieve my dream of being 'Izzy-ana Jones' is because I had amazing mentors who coached me through every freakout. These mentors, bless their hearts, have persistently encouraged me to go after my dreams. They have told me their stories, shared their own fears, and been candid about the realities of the P.h.D. process and where it can lead.
However, I know that not everyone has access to these types of mentors... in fact, most people don't. It was by luck, chance, and privilege that I have been able to discuss realities of career paths with people currently in the field. One of my my main reasons for pursuing my P.h.D. is so that, in turn, I can mentor the next wave of female archeologists and inspire them as my mentors have inspired me. However, in the mean time, I wanted to create an outlet where current academics could share their stories and aspiring academics could share their fears in a comfortable, digital environment.
Please comment your story and share with your friends, mentors, and anyone you know is currently asking themselves 'what the heck am I doing? Should I just go to grad school?'
#studentshelpingstudents #letsmentorourselves #whattheheckarewedoing #gradschool
I relate way too much to this post! Getting to research clinical psychology has been a dream of mine for a long time. However, most people that complete their PhDs in clinical psychology end up practicing in large hospitals and making little money! Few achieve their goals of having their own lab and being able to teach. I often think I should just get a PsyD degree, since although it is not free I would spend less time getting educated in order to get to the same place of just practicing as a clinician. However, I refuse to abandon my goal of being able to teach, conduct research, and practice as a clinician. My mentor is an African American man from a small town who has accomplished all of these things, and his tenacity to get where he is, against many more odds than I have, inspires me to stick to my chosen path.