If you’re applying to graduate school (especially a PhD program), chances are you have heard the term ‘burn out’. The definition of a ‘burn out’ is when a student experiences extreme mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion (academicpostions.com). A student who is experiencing burn out will undergo fatigue, low motivation, inability to focus, and a decrease in their normal level of performance (academic positions.com). Did you know that graduate students experience depression and anxiety at 6 times the rate of the general population (academic positions.com)?
I wrote this forum to create a much needed safe space to discuss the experiences of burnouts, while bringing attention to the mental resilience that grad students are asked to undergo each and every day.
My colleagues and I have described this term ‘burn out’ as if it's the destruction of a career: an overhanging cloud, omnipresent and looming on the horizon. I- personally- have internalized this idea of ‘burn out’ as an unexplainable event which could happen to others, but never to me. Why? I am not sure, but I had the schema that ‘burn out’ was a state I didn’t have the luxury of feeling. I felt that since I was given the resources most weren’t, I had to work so much harder to achieve my goals and continue to push through the depressive periods. Despite the constant late night writing sessions, hours of isolating research, and nauseating coffee induced anxiety attacks, I would tell myself ‘you are not experiencing a burn out you're just lazy right now’ or ‘just have another stimulant and you will finally have the motivation to finish that conclusion.’
Why am I so scared of this idea of a burn out? Why do I think of it as a career ender rather than a normal ‘low period’? Why am I so determined to push myself to my mental limits and cause myself more harm in order to push past it, rather than address my feelings and validate them?
I propose that we- grad students, academics, and the public alike- reexamine how we conceptualize the stereotypical ‘burn out’ victim. Through my journey with nvz, PhD and grad applications, studying for and taking the GRE, as well as finishing my last semester at school, I want to admit that I experienced burnout. I had trouble focusing, my research was suffering, and each morning it got harder and harder to get myself out of bed and conduct my routine. The ‘depression cloud’ seemed to be always looming- often raining- right over my head! Projects and papers, which in the beginning of the semester I was beyond excited to start, all of a sudden became an humongous burden, a chore. I was ashamed, scared, and afraid that if I was experiencing ‘burn out’ during my masters that it was a sign I could never thrive at the doctoral level. Now, I think that addressing my burn out, both publicly and privately, makes me more capable to thrive at a higher level: I have learned resources that have helped me recenter myself and rediscover my passion for the Ancients.
I propose we rethink ‘burn out’ to mean not a career ending phenomenon, but rather a fixable, normal phenomena that students of all levels (undergrad, masters, and doctorate) undergo several times throughout their experience. I was a burnout, and I will be a burnout again. This doesn’t make me less motivated, less intelligent, or less capable, but rather it makes me a human that was simply pushing myself too hard.
Since my ‘burnout’ during my last semester of my History Masters, I have begun to understand that taking care of my mental health and my physical health are just as important to my future in the academic world as my research is! I plan to upload various sources that have helped me reconceptualize ‘burn out’ and those which have educated me how to prevent and recover from a burn out period. Please check out such sources on my website under the ‘mental health’ tab! I will upload them ASAP and continue to add to them as I continue to learn.
I want this forum to represent a digital safe space, where students can connect with others and normalize this term ‘burn out’. Please share your stories, struggles, as well as resources and techniques you use to keep yourself sane during your journey through academia. I look forward to hearing about your personal resilience, your experiences, and I hope we can all bond and create a support system for current and future academics!
As I am finishing my last semester of undergrad, I have many friends applying to grad school. I have seen how mentally and emotionally taxing just the application process can be. Burnout is such a real thing in academia and is experienced by so many. I think there is a tough line between motivating yourself and pushing yourself too hard. I am so glad you have taken the time to address this issue and shed light on a challenge that so many others face!
Love this Isabelle!!! Your passion inspires me, and burn out is real. While I wouldn’t call myself as much of an intellectual powerhouse as you are, working remote is also extremely tough and leads to burn out. I love that you reframe the negative side effect of hard work with a new, positive perspective.
I can’t imagine the pressure on mental health grad school puts people under. I was highly depressed and anxious for four years in college and that was only undergrad! In my case I knew that my mental health was suffering but I didn’t realize just how bad it was until I graduated and “recovered“. I wonder if other people have gone through similar experiences where they didn’t know just how bad their mental health was until they started to feel well again. Hang in there!
I just completed my Masters Program. Burn out is so real and so hard to navigate, and I think you’re right to say a lot of students internalize it and don’t necessarily agree or understand that it is, in fact, burn out. It definitely sucked, it sucks, and I feel like I still live in My burnout despite having completed my program. I can’t tell you how often I wanted to just stop, and sometimes the only thing that kept me going was reminding myself how little time ledt I had to go... “Just one more year... just one more semester...” Now, I can’t find the energy to even apply to PhD programs and with that mental block comes a feeling of unworthiness.
While in grad school I was able to compartmentalize, to push through because it’s something I’ve always had to do for school. I knew how to self-care with what little time I had, I knew how to mentally take care of myself. For some reason now, it’s harder to push through- I’ve fallen into the burn-out and trying to claw your way out once you’ve given in is a lot harder.
Obviously, any advice I give in light of these admissions might be a moot point, but I implore anyone who is concerned- who is feeling run down, taxed - who is facing burn out. Don’t give up, push through, find moments of peace for yourself, whether it be watching Netflix or talking to your friends. You should never feel guilty about taking time for you and focusing on your mental health and well being.
Bravo Izzy it takes courage to discuss your vulnerabilities in the open to help others.
Although having a goal to stay focused on is not a bad thing, why is it necessary to drive oneself to the point of burn out. Why do we need to be so competitive that we need stimulants to help us through? Perhaps one can examine their goals, their pace and be ok with gentle shifts which can allow time for self-care. Take a moment to see where you are trying to go, and why is it necessary to get there so fast. Are you missing out on other experiences? What are you sacrificing to achieve these goals? If your well is empty, you will not move forward. Take the time to step back and re-examine your plan. Be open to change and self-nurturing opportunities.
XOXO
Nancy M.
While I am not in grad school, I can definitely relate to burn out throughout high school and college! I was often wondering where I would find the motivation to work on the next big assignment right after turning one in. It was daunting to look at mid terms/finals week and think about how I was going to get everything done and do well on exams. It is so important to be able to talk about these feelings with other students. Thank you for sharing Izzy!
Yesss Izzy! Grad school is exhausting. I’m getting my Master’s right now and I totally relate to the sense of failing when I feel like I’m starting to get behind. I’m taking some Educational Psychology and SEL Curriculum classes right now, and I’ve been teaching my students about the power of a growth mindset - something that I also have to remind myself to have too! I’m so glad that you’re bringing light to these issues and I can’t wait to check out those resources!
Grad school is something that is incredibly mentally taxing. It can be easy to get buried in work and lose sight of why you started this journey in the first place. What always helps me is to focus on my end goal and know that once I reach that goal the hard work, long nights, and mental exhaustion will be worth it.